Until You Invite Me
by DorothyDeath
Summary: <html><head></head>The things she does for love...</html>
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Many thanks to my beta - hrhrionastar._

**Chapter One**

This was it. The moment of choice.

She was so beautiful in her white wedding dress; her hair held back by small white flower hairpins, dark curls resting on her shoulders.

They were in the royal bedchamber Darken had ordered prepared for her. He would not start their married life in the traditional royal apartments—the ones that had belonged to his father.

She had invited him. Not the way he would have liked, but nonetheless…here they were, he and his stubborn bride. And now he could pretend it was real. That the look of disdain on her face would change in time, that the ice in her glare would melt and maybe after the birth of their child she would—

«No,» he heard himself saying quietly.

Kahlan flinched as if he had slapped her, and Darken smiled softly.

«You are the image of beauty,» he moved to stand behind her. «But, alas, I must decline. You see, that's not how I want this,» he bent forward to whisper in her ear, «I want you to want me.» _And you will,_ he thought, but didn't say. He could be patient.

Kahlan turned around so swiftly she almost tripped on her dress. The horror in her eyes was quite delightful.

Darken smirked.

«And now,» he bowed his head in a mockingly polite manner, «let me bid you goodnight, my Queen.»

The door closed almost silently behind her husband, but the sound was like a thunderclap to Kahlan's ears. She crumpled to the floor, all life gone from her body. She cried, relief and despair strangely mixed up in her tears.

This was it. This was the end—what was she going to do?

She had been preparing herself so hard for this moment – to sacrifice herself, her body, for Richard. To endure what had to be endured to bring him back to her, to save the world. But it all had been in vain. Rahl didn't want her body. He wanted more than that. Now she could never have a child to help Richard – she would never want Rahl. And Rahl would never allow her to live if she found another man to father a child—a Confessor, so that Richard might return—and if she died now, all would be lost. But all was already lost, now that Rahl demanded not only her body, but her soul! She couldn't bear this—

She would never get Richard back. Never! Unless…

Kahlan wiped away her tears as her despair turned into anger, and anger set her mind into motion. Rahl wanted her to want him. Sick, perverted bastard! How could she ever feel something for him besides disgust and hatred? No, she would never want him.

But she could fool him.

Rahl was smart. But she would be smarter. It would be difficult, but she would be patient and careful. Rahl would never know about her plan. Rahl would help her bring Richard back. Rahl… Kahlan made an effort. Darken. Darken would help her set things right.

She had to get used to call him that in her mind. Darken. It would be the first step. She needed it to sound natural when she let it «slip» from her tongue in… four or maybe five weeks – depended on how «successful» he would be in his inevitable attempts at manipulating her. Or was it too rash? He would suspect her if she was rash. She couldn't allow his suspicion. She had time – Kahlan reminded herself. She had nothing but time—and Rahl—Darken—would want her to succumb. And she would—at just the right moment.

Kahlan got up on her feet. She wasn't going anywhere – Where could she go? – so she might as well make herself comfortable. Heedless of her dress, she climbed up onto a huge royal bed, which from now on would be hers. The bed was soft and nice and she hated it. But she needed rest, she needed to be strong and her mind to be sharp.

There was no room for mistakes.

Tomorrow would be a very long day.

Just like any day would be from now on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

Kahlan woke up with a headache.

Her dreams had been plagued by nightmares she couldn't remember, the Rada'Han choked her and she felt like she was about to fall apart any time now. Kahlan moaned, and forced herself to sit up.

There was breakfast waiting for her on the bedside table.

Kahlan blinked. Someone had been in her room. And she hadn't been aware of it. She doubted R— Darken would have brought her breakfast – Kahlan laughed bitterly at the ridiculous mental image of her husband with a tray of food wishing her good morning. It had probably been some servant girl... But the fact was still very disturbing.

Kahlan ignored the food and got to her feet, absently and futilely trying to smooth the wrinkles from her wedding dress. Her hair must be an absolute nightmare—

There was a knock on the door.

"Enter," Kahlan said in a hoarse voice, and a girl of sixteen came in, her eyes cast down submissively.

"Good morning, milady..." the girl began to say, but Kahlan interrupted her.

"What's your name? And look into my eyes when I talk to you!" She ordered harshly.

"I'm sorry, milady. Emily, milady," the girl curtseyed and timidly looked up.

Kahlan watched her closely for a very long time. Emily was an innocent and sweet little child. But she could never be of use to Kahlan. She was too weak, and she seemed too terrified of Lord Rahl to obey Kahlan's commands, much less be the recipient of Kahlan's confidences. A thought occurred to Kahlan. Could she push him so far as to let her choose her own servants?

"Go," Kahlan said finally.

"But Lord Rahl ordered me to help you with your bath, milady, and—"

"I don't need any help!" Kahlan felt fury building up inside. "_Get out!_ And don't you ever dare come in here again without my permission!"

Emily bolted out of the room like lightning.

The headache got worse. Kahlan massaged her temples. Fortunately she didn't have to hide her true reactions from Darken just yet. She would never show him her pain, of course – she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her suffer. But thankfully the disgust on her face would not surprise him.

Kahlan sighed deeply and picked up an apple from a plate of fruit. She really needed to address the problem of disgust sometime in the future. No chance she would be able to fake physical pleasure and anyway – Confessors could not conceive a child without it. At first, Kahlan had thought she could imagine Richard while sleeping with R— Darken. But now she could never allow herself this escape from reality. It would be the end of everything if she accidentally cried out the wrong name. More than that – bringing Richard to her marriage bed now felt like even more of a betrayal than it already was.

Kahlan bit into her apple.

She had to get ready. No doubt, Darken would demand her presence at the Morning Devotional. The thought sickened her. But Kahlan had made a deal, and this was her duty now as his wife and Queen. And she would stand there by his side and watch while thousands of slaves pledged themselves to her husband. Just like she herself had, when she agreed to marry him—

Kahlan put the apple back. She had no appetite.

And her headache was killing her.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update. As always many thanks to my beta - hrhrionastar._

**Chapter Three**

Darken watched as the servant girl – Emily – darted out of his wife's bedroom and dashed off in tears. That was fast, he thought to himself. And certainly not the course of events he had hoped for. There was a reason why he had chosen this girl for Kahlan – everything he did had a reason to it – and now he wondered if he had misjudged his wife's applauded ability of love and compassion.

He still could play this card though. It might turn out even better than he had originally planned.

Darken smirked and set out to wait. He didn't like waiting, but had he done what he liked all the time it would have got him nowhere. So Darken stood by the window in Kahlan's guest room – an airy room full of light pouring in from tall windows, it was adjoined to the bedchamber and supplied with fine wooden furniture and thick rich carpets (only the best for the Queen of D'Hara) – and waited patiently for his wife to appear.

It took Kahlan one hour to get ready. She couldn't afford making Darken angry by being late, but she didn't want to spend more time with her husband that was really necessary for her plan to work – even that was too much – so she calculated the time very carefully. The Devotional was to begin in ten minutes.

Once her Rahl-red dress was finally laced up (perhaps she had been too rash to dismiss that girl – what was her name? – after all) and she had checked her hair in the mirror for the last time, Kahlan took a deep breath, opened the door and left the bedroom to meet her husband.

Darken turned away from the window and smiled that sly, insidious smile she hated so much. Kahlan closed her eyes. That just wouldn't do. She needed to find something about him that she liked (Dear Spirits, she was doomed!) so that she wouldn't cringe every time she saw him.

Kahlan opened her eyes to find Darken standing right in front of her. She hadn't heard him approach, and that made her even more uncomfortable in his presence.

Darken studied her closely for what seemed like eternity. She desperately tried to predict his next move – he obviously was up to something and everything Darken Rahl was up to could be very dangerous for Kahlan. Anxiously, she searched his eyes for any clue of what he might do. Oh, Creator, if only her head wasn't aching so badly!

Then he lifted his hands and touched her temples with his fingertips. Kahlan felt a wave of magic wash through her, and was surprised to find her pain gone as if it had never existed.

"How did you know?" she demanded, forgetting her caution.

"A simple 'Thank you' would be welcome." He took her hand. "Shall we?"

As soon as Kahlan and Darken had left her quarters, two Mord'Sith fell into step behind them, and followed them like shadows all the way through the castle halls to the Council chamber and then to the Devotional balcony. Those cold, silent women set Kahlan's nerves on edge, but she made it a point to ignore the Mord'Sith.

Her unease was not unexpected, and it couldn't compare to what had just happened.

Darken had healed her. He had healed her with magic. His dark sinister evil magic. Who knew what else he had done to her just now? Would she become his slave in mind as well as body?

"Master Rahl, guide us..." there in the square below the balcony, hundreds of voices began to chant as one, bringing her out of her reverie.

Would she become just like them? Kahlan felt sick again.

Darken watched his wife while she was looking down on his people – their people – like they were mere worms. It wasn't hard to guess what she was thinking.

Darken sighed inwardly.

"Kahlan, you took the loyalty oath yesterday," he said very quietly.

Confused, Kahlan gave him a sideways glance. He didn't look at her.

"Jump off the balcony," he continued matter-of-factly as if they were discussing the weather.

"What?" She turned to face him, eyes wide with horror. He still didn't turn toward her.

"Jump off the balcony, Kahlan. That's an order," he spoke in that calm, soft manner of his that made her tremble inside.

Kahlan froze. She didn't know what to do, what to think! Was it some kind of test? Or was he suddenly tired of his game? Did he want to kill her? She felt panic clenching her throat and turning her knees to water. Dear Spirits, what should she do? What could she possibly—

"Now you see, my Queen," finally he turned to look into her eyes. "Had I been Confessed and our positions reversed I would have jumped."

He offered her his hand – she took it numbly, not even registering the movement – and he led her back into the comparative safety of the Council chamber.


End file.
